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Happy Thanksgiving!

I have a few personal traditions for this holiday.

One, I like to spend the morning in PJ's, watching the Macy's Day Parade.

Two, I take a walk after I eat.

I also try to spend some time reflecting on the year. Enjoying some time with family, especially my dad. And, planning for next year.

Thanksgiving is a rough time of the year for a lot of people.

My family has always had open Thanksgiving. So, if you are looking for a place to land - give me a call and drop on by....

Regardless of what you eat, watch, or whom you spend time with today.... I hope that you know that I am thankful for you.

The Binds That Tie

Holiday season + Family =

This is a varying equation.

I have discovered a few things in the last week.

1. As a family, we are guilty of the sin of ingratitude... We have great lives, jobs, cars, health, etc. We complain more than we need to and it kind of ruins the holidays.

2. That my sense of expectation, or perceived expectation, has gotten in the way of my living my own life. IE - taking care of people when they don't really need it.

3. That I get a little grinchy around this time of the year. And, it all surrounds my emotional approach to things. If I didn't focus on the burden of gifting, the lonliness of being a single girl, or the massive planning/begotiation for parties, holiday celebrations, etc. Then, maybe I could remember to be grateful and joyful and peaceful.

Family is a beautiful gift...even when the ties occasionally bind.

The Warrior Heart

I am worried about Amy Beth.

I worry about most of the warrior hearts I know.

I worry about Aaron, Christina, Jen, Angela.... I could go on.

But the point is... I worry about them.

A warrior heart is strong, yet delicate.

A warrior heart has a history that few understand.

A warrior heart has complicated present.

A warrior heart has a long road in front of them.

I hesitate to say it, but most people take advantage of warrior hearts. They think that the tough exterior goes 6 feet deep. But, I am not convinced that it does. They are insatiably loyal, real go-getters. They are driven and strong. It's like watching the power of a horse running free whenever they are in action. I admire these hearts. They push the envelope, work the long hours, give every drop.

I worry about the warrior hearts in my life, because when they become wounded or falter - the masses around them can become chaotic and confused.

I am a protector, not a warrior. I have never been one for horses and armor and flaming arrows and screaming charging Braveheart scenes. But the warrior heart loves this stuff. It's their element. And occasionally, the warrior heart is wounded or exhausted and needs a break. That's when protectors step in... we are kind of like the pinch hitters of emotional/spiritual warfare.

As a protector, I get no thrill from battle. I try to control "regulate" and "negotiate" to avoid battle. But, make no mistake, if I am driven to a battle - I will gladly lay in wait until the enemy is close enough that I am certain to kill it. I make no apologies for being that ruthless. It takes a lot to make me that way.

So, if any of my warrior hearts, AB especially, are reading tonight - it's okay to take a break and take care of yourself. Just remember that you can tag me into the fight anytime.

Emotional Draino

I think I am in need of some emotional draino.

Hear me out on this one...

I am going to school, working, and dealing with a lot of changes.

My family has successfully stressed me out about Thanksgiving. A drama I would prefer not to discuss. My job is more stressful than I would like. Aside from my roomates, I am the only one in my circle of friends who is unattached... and it appears that most of the attached ones are getting prego these days. NOT that I don't love babies, nor am I lacking in complete and utter joy... but a little part of me wishes it were me.

To quote Jane from 27 Dresses, "one day it will be my turn." But sometimes, I get tired. I get tired of being reliable, self-sufficient, etc. It always seems like this is the moment when people suddenly feel the need to tell me how to tie my shoes. It kind of makes me feel like a yo-yo.

My blood pressure has been high lately. Like pretty high, but not stroke grade. And, I realized last night that a lot of it is do to my lack of exercise and sleep. Lack of balance can kill you. That's not just a good acrobatic principal, it's a life principal.

Anyway... enough of my emotional throw-up this afternoon. I need a good bottle of draino.

Sometimes....Just Because

Sometimes, I do things just because. I used to think that it was just my own mhim that was dictating these "just becasue" moments, but I have come to realize that these are really God-moments. You know, the moments that He calls us out to be His hands and His feet. I never do these things with an attitude of seeking praise or acknowledgement, but that is what I got from my latest "moment". I reposted this, only because I want all of you to know that when we follow those urgings....we never know how God is using them.

A

 

Dear Abby.

November 25th, 2008

Dear Abby-without-a-last-name,

I’m still trying to figure out which Abby you are, since a quick search of the 3,489 comments on my blog turned up multiple Abby’s. And so, since I don’t know who this specific Abby is, you get a whole post dedicated just to you.

What you probably didn’t know when you placed that order for flowers to be delivered to my office was that they arrived the day after everything ended. All ten weekly programs were done, volunteers released for the semester, leaders free of their responsibilities. Even Allie’s done for the semester, needing to take the rest of this year to get ready to walk down a very important aisle just a few weeks from now.

And so, last Friday, it was just me in the office throughout the day. Just me and a couple of puppies that I brought from home to help make the office a little bit louder.

And there was your box on the front steps.

No one’s ever sent flowers to me to celebrate the end of the semester, Abby. There’s no one in the office with me on my personal Black Friday each semester, the day after everything for everyone else ends. They all leave — as they should! — and I’m left with piles of paperwork and folders and journals on my desk higher than my head.

And so it’s up to me to pick up the leftover wrapping paper and to finish the financial reports and to answer the remaining emails. I’ll be the one to answer the phones and to check the mail and to turn off the lights at night. That Friday is always the defining moment of the semester, when everyone leaves.

Except me.

But this year, Abby, before I touched the paperwork, before I began cleaning up the kitchen and even before I turned on the computer, I sat on our couch in the lobby and opened up your box of flowers, your gift sent to me to acknowledge a very long semester of programs come to an end.

And somehow, with them sitting here on my desk, the office doesn’t seem so lonely anymore.

Thank you, Abby-without-a-last-name.

Love,

Amy Beth

Times They Are A'Changin'

When I was 13, I found myself in love with Bob Dylan's writing. The man cannot carry a tune in a bucket, but he is a great poet.

That being said, my dad had a record collection of originals from the Beatles, Bob Dylan... any major artist of the 60's. Most of the album's had never been opened. That is until I opened Bob Dylan.

I am not over-exaggerating when I say that I nearly died.

But, for one really great afternoon, I listened to the title track from Bob Dylan's Time's They Are a-changin' album.

The lyrics always struck me as a call to action... to live life on purpose. And, I think they are more relevant today, than ever before.

Come gather round people wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth saving
Then you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone
For the times, they are a changing

Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pens
And keep your eyes open, the chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon, the wheel's still in spin
And there's no telling who that it's naming
Oh the loser will be later to win
For the times, they are a changing

Come senators, congressmen, please head the call
Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt will be her that has stalled
The battle outside ragging will soon shake your windows
And rattle your hall
For the times, they are a changing

Come mothers and fathers all over this land
And don't criticize what you can't understand
Your sons and your daughter are beyond your command
Your old role is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand
For the times they are a changing

The line, it is drawn, the curse, it is cast
The slow one will later be fast
And the present now will soon be the past
The order is rapidly fading
The first one now will later be last
For the times, they are a changing

 

For me, life is changing quit rapidly right now. I am finishing my master's in counseling... and have no idea if this will take me toward psychiatry or somewhere else. I have wonderful friends who are about to be mom's, and I wonder if I will get the chance to be one myself, one day. Good friends are settling down, marrying, buying houses, moving across the country. And, it makes me realize that homebase is really figurative and that as things change - so do the rules. But, there are a lot of really, REALLY great things that can come from change. I guess I need to get busy swimming.

Deep Breaths

I am trying to take a few minutes to just be.

Today and tomorrow are our last two days of Indian Summer here in Ohio. The last few days of great sun, warm temperatures and gorgeous leaves.

I love this time of the year. But it is so short... and I can't soak in enough of it.

I find that recently, people and their lives seem to be moving in a fury toward some unknown. People panicking over the election. People panicking over finances. People panicking.

And I feel like there are two choices: One, join them... and Two, pray.

When I take the time to pray - God reminds me that I have nothing to fear. He already knows what's going to happen. He already knows that I worry and what my heart really desires. He already knows... and the best part - He is already working on my behalf. All I have to do is be.

So today, I think I will just spend a few minutes soaking up the amazing beauty of the leaves and realize what an awesome artist God is. And, that He does all of this just for you and me.

Have a great day!