Working Title

Everything Changes in a Moment

I have had 2 hours of sleep in the last 36.

Most of that time has been spent at the hospital with my mom.

Her pacemaker started going haywire yesterday evening. And, at 11 last night,I drove south to meet her and dad at the hospital.

I had lots of quiet time last night, and it gave me a chance to reflect on the night 12 years ago when my mom had the series of cardiac arrests that lead to the pacemaker.

And, I found myself grateful for the twelve years. I found myself realizing how fortunate I am that God seems to give me more than just one shot at things.

I found myself realizing that things can change in the blink of an eye...and I wonder if I am missing anything important.

4

Oh... how I wish I were telling you the number of sweaters bought on sale, the amount spent on Christmas gifts, days till the end of the semester......

but I am not

No, 4 is the number of maximum hours of sleep I got last night, if you add all the random, split-up minutes together.

And, I can't do it. I used to over-caffinate to compensate for no sleep in college. A habit that is apparently hurting my health.

So - despite the fact that I have shown up to every class this semester, I am going to have to skip tonight and go home and tylenol pm it so that I can get some sleep.

Welcome to Mount Molehill

I feel like crap today because I am wound tighter than a top right now.

I have no idea why I insist on doing this to myself, but I do it more frequently than I like.

I feel badly if you have been caught in my fury. And in some ways, I am more sorry than you know.

But, I am a planner, read control freak, about some things. And, I know that I should learn to say things like, "I panick because I am not good at trust others" or "I've been burnt by this before", but  sometimes I just screw up and overreact.

Give me a break, I am a human.

And on the subject of break, I promise to back the crap off and give you one. I will control what I can control and will stop trying to control what I can't.

I guess it just goes to show that I still have a lot to learn.... in case you didn't already know that.

And, maybe we can forget about Mount Molehill.

I know I am sure trying to...

The Grinch's Heart Was Melted By A Child

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but we are now faced with Christmas.

For years, I have been a little "grinchy" around this time of the year. Pressure to buy, lack of money, stress, drama... do you see where this is going.

I started by taking a stand with No Christmas cards. Then I added no Christmas music or decorations until two weeks until Christmas. Then I went to no more than X amount for Christmas for people and I gave most of it to them in the form of a charity donation.

I am not really a grinch. I just think that Christmas is a lifestyle of generosity that should be part of your life the other 364 days.

But this year, things are a little different...

It started with Amy Beth's Christmas Surprise. I got such a thrill out of being part of a surprise that I was already a little gooey when I saw my nephew this week.

Brody is 2 years old... with a 4 year-old vocabulary. He is excited and apprehensive. This will be the year that we take him to see Santa at the Community Center and he either cries or runs away. WHAT FUN!

Anyway, Brody is curious and excited and a bundle of joy that melts his aunt into puddles.

So -

I bought a tree, ornaments, Christmas cards.....

Speaking of which, drop me your address - I need to send these cards to someone!