Working Title

Routine Change

As much as I hate to admit it, I like routines. For instance, today is Thursday which means Chris and I will hit the diner tonight.

Another routine that I have adopted recently is blog-reading. I can't get enough of the blogs from Mark Walz. He, like myself, is a womb-to-tomb church member. We grew up in church...so everyone thinks that we must know everything about God. And sometimes, we convince ourselves that we might know everything about God. It is often sad when smart Christians think stupid things.

In the past week, Mark has made two posts that have dramatically affected me. The first was a post on Spiritual Transformation. Growing up in conservative Christian circles, I can relate to Mark's Bible Bee success. As a young adult, I completely rejected my church upbringing since it was more legalistic than I felt I wanted. But in all honesty, there are pros and cons to both aspects of the modern church. I often believe that when we meet Jesus, he will be most disappointed with our decisions that caused division.

Mark's second post was an appreciation of a fellow pastor and his willingness to be vulnerable about his intimacy with God. HONEST MOMENT: There are 21 words in that last sentence, and I openly struggle with at least 1/7 of the sentence. We have an entire culture within and without the church that lacks a willingness to be vulnerable about intimacy. Whether that intimacy is in relationship to God or others, we act like we are afraid of it.

NEWS FLASH: I am probably one of the most guilty of committing the "vulnerable intimacy" no-no.

How authentic and trustworthy am I if I say God is love and we are His hands and feet, but then I don't act like it? How dare I make any judgment on another leader for their authenticity and integrity if I don't have a visible history of my own? I think this is a moment to say, "Ouch"!

Last night I went to a class at GCCN and had a chance to meet some of the staff and learn about the church. It was a great experience. I have to tell you that I have no idea why God has led me here. But, if I don't stick around and try being vulnerable to some new experiences, I may miss something AMAZING that God has for me.

So, in keeping with Mark's theme about a constant state of transformation toward Jesus, maybe my new routine needs to be a routine of change.

Working Title

Yesterday was July 4th, and the fam went for dinner at Applebee's. (I guess that qualifies as an acceptable alternative to the classic cookout.)

Keegan and his girlfriend Allie came along. It was a nice chance for everyone to catch up mid-week.

During dinner, I had a conversation with my mom about this blog and my writing. She pointed out a very valid fact: You can't sell a blog.

If I honestly want to see about writing-for-dinero, then I need to write-for-cash. Her basic point was that the blog is fine, just not where I want to be.

I have wanted to write a book since I started writing journals at the age of thirteen. But like all things in life, I seem to lack the courage to start. Frankly, this makes me feel like a hypocrite...

I go around encouraging and even telling people to live out their dreams, have courage, take the risk, yadda, yadda...But honestly, I shy away from experiences where I am not certain that the outcome will be success. Childish?  Yes. But the demon of fear speaks in multiple volumes.

I suppose that honesty is the best way to combat fear. What do I have to be afraid of?

Bonding With Martha Stewart

Last night, I did something that I have not done in awhile. I went shopping. I love to bargain shop, but I also realize that this can lead to buying a lot of crap that you don't need. If you are a Midwest child of the 80s', bargain shopping has one name.....KMART!

KMart was the place my went when she was looking for cheap, Made-in-the-USA goods.

I wound up at our local Kmart last night over one simple reason...parking. I was not in the mood to fight a large crowd at the other "discount chain".

Once I got inside I quickly found myself in the bedding section. I have been looking off and on for the perfect bedding to match this headboard from 1985. You remember, the decade where red, green and gold were popular! I personally have a strict hatred of all things floral sans flowers themselves. Take a look at the picture below and feel my frustration.

Here is a picture of the detail on the headboard.

Try matching that to anything....

But, alas...Martha Stewart can. And for just twelve dollars more you can get the matching shams.

So I bought the comforter with the matching shams.

When I walked out I found myself saying, "Thank you Lord for the designer at Martha Stewart who put this together. I know you meant it just for me."

And then it struck me.... was I honestly being thankful for Martha Stewart?

What Would Happen If We Took Jesus Seriously?

Have you ever asked yourself,  "what would happen if we took Jesus seriously?"

1 Peter 2:9 - You are a chosen generation...

1 Corinthians 1:26 - ..Think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.

I watched the concert for Diana on Sunday night and thought, "at least the royals are using their power for something good...There are days I wish I had that power."

But the truth is that each of us already have that power, and can do something to make the world better each day. Sometimes, it is just a smile or a small act of kindness. For others, it may be giving their life in service.

I recently painted the title of this post on my wall because I want it to be the foremost focus in my life. I want to take Jesus so seriously that it starts a ripple effect in the lives of people around me. 

These are two of the greatest people I know. Pastor Matt and Stacey Ayars are about a month away from the first five-year trek in Haiti with OMS Missions. I wanted to share them with you because I really feel that they take Jesus seriously.

I might not feel the same call that Pastor Matt and Stacey do. But, I know that the world desperately needs people everywhere to show them God's love.

If you would like see what the Ayars are doing, you can check them out at http://ayarshaiti.blogspot.com/

The Power of Peaceful Tea

Last night, my friend Krista and I met for tea at Zen Cha. It is a delightful hole-in-the-wall tea salon. I  love the simplicity of the place.

You are there to experience.

I wish that I brought more of that expectation to my everyday life. What would happen if we all came to the table expecting an experience? Would we be less fearful? Would we be quick to help and slow to judge?

I love the quiet atmosphere that the owners have created. It allows you to be focused in the moment..(something that is difficult for the type-A's like myself.)

I love sharing life with people. It makes every experience more enjoyable and more bearable. Perhaps it is the tea, but I think it is more about the peacefulness that a moment of quiet can bring to our crazy world. I think I should schedule an official daily tea hour.

Sonic and Addiction

Yesterday, Pastor Fuller at GCCN was speaking on the second commandment. He is doing an entire series titled, "Love God and Do What You Want".

During the sermon, he defined idols as synonymous with addictions and said that most people of our age do not have physical idols but have imagery idols. We focus on  appearance, status, success, etc. These are all image-based items, not physical statues.

I was really convicted when he began to talk about relationship idols. I have an extreme tendency to be involved in relationships that not edifying to my spirit. Occasionally, these friendships, relationships, acquaintances can become situations that are more harmful than helpful. The point is that when we don't let go because we want it our way, they can inhibit our relationship with God and can literally suck the life out of us.

At the end of the sermon, we had the opportunity to write down some of our idols and then burn the list. I walked out with a tremendous sense of relief. I have been carrying around an addiction to a no-longer-existent relationship. Mostly because I feel like I failed miserably.. and I have a hard time letting that go. But, I can't be free of it if I refuse to let it go. And when you think about, how selfish does that make me? God wants to give me better or fix what he has already given me and I would prefer to play with my broken pieces.

So where does Sonic come into this picture?

Later on in the evening, I was up to my eyeballs in paint...(my secret passion)...when I was overcome with a craving.

To set this up, I have to explain where I live. I always refer to it as pseudo-urban. The land between actual urban and soccer-moms-with-minivans country. The neat part about it is that in 15 minutes, I can be pretty much anywhere in the city.

But enough about that, I was trying to explain this addiction issue I am struggling with: Sonic Burgers.

They recently put a Sonic drive-in about 500 yards from my house. My will-power lasted exactly one week.

This may mean nothing to you, but when I was in school at Asbury, Sonic was a treat. There is nothing better than a Sonic burger and thick chocolate shake. Since we did not have one back home, Sonic was THE burger joint. I was quickly hooked...

While munching on my "treat" and watching paint dry, it hit me that the burger is not as good as I remember. But the momentary nostalgia was worth it.

In light of the sermon yesterday, I think I will limit the number of nostalgia moments. Pray for my will-power.